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| Joey Essex was educated (kind of!) in Brazil! |
But, anyway, by his own admission - Joey hasn't got the most common sense - but he isn't stupid. He knows what's he wants and where he's going, he just might need a little guidance on the directiion!
Tonight, on ITV2, we saw the second installment of 'Educating Joey Essex' - where Joey flew off to Brazil - all ready for the World Cup. (Thanks again, England!)
Before he set off, Joey was able to spell Brazil without looking at his phone, he also tried and tried again to get the names of all the England players right... It didn't look good, considering that he once thought Eric Cantona was a football team!
So, as the brilliant Philip Schofield (who couldn't turn down the job of narrator!) said, 'who else could we send?' on a tour of Brazil, ending with a prostegious invite to the World Cup opening ceremony...
And with that, off Mr Essex went!
On arrival, Joey (who still hadn't grasped the offside rule!) arrived at the same hotel as the England squad and woke up the next morning with his hair looking like poo.
He then set off to meet his guide Jaiõ - but not before eating a corn roll (that would be corn on the cob) and being proposed to!
Jaiõ began by explaining to Joey all about Copacobana (like the song sang by Gary Barlow in Joey's world!) and Jaiõ was then given a lesson on all things Essex by the boy named Essex.
The following day, Joey decided to grab a tan on 'Barack Obama' beach... Copacobana to me and you! Jaiõ then took him on a trip to a place in Brazil that wasn't known to be 'safe.'
Joey was about to see Favela Rocinha. A place notorious for crime. Hiding his iPhone away, Joey met a man named Peanut to show him around.
He shopped, played football with the kids and - in true Joey fashion - had his hair done! But not before being petrified in the process!
Beyond the laughs and jokes, seeing the Favela touched Joey.
Next, it was on to San Paulo - and the first stop was a visit to a monastery - where Joey could only describe as 'is this Lord of the Rings, or something?' Bless him.
And while on a tour of the monastery, Joey spent time looking for wizards! Bless him, again!
The priest was certainly taken by Joey - who invited him to play football with the rest of the priests - dressed in a cassock. Brilliant, if only for the outfit, matched with sunglasses, of course...
And yes, Father Essex scored!! Even if he did think he looked like he was dressed as the Grim Reaper!
That night Jaiõ took Joey off to the rainforest. Where Joey thought they had ended up in the Bahamas... Yes, the Bahamas! This was going to be good.
After being told the range of animals they could possibly be seeing (including Marmosettes, which Joey had once been bitten by in the first Educating Joey episode!) they walked - or rather fell - into the forest.
Their first spot was a frog... Which made Joey very happy. This was their first and last spot - apart from a moth! - but Joey didn't care. He was excited for the World Cup opening ceremony.
To get him in the mood, Joey met the most fanatical Brazil fan EVER, who was called Nelson. This man's house breathed Brazil. It was like something else... He said he'd seen every Brazil game in his lifetime.
It's lucky that Nelson isn't an England fan... Or he'd be a very depressed man!
After being appropriately dressed in a Brazil footy get-up, Joey said goodbye to Jaiõ and hopped into the Nelson's car-come-fairground-ride to head to the big ceremony.
Excited - and having changed into his England shirt - Joey joined in the dancing and singing.
He then shows just what a lovely, sweet person he is. Realising that Nelson doesn't actually have a ticket to the opening ceremony - and Brazil vs Croatia, Joey gives Nelson his ticket.
This sums up the education of Joey Essex - it doesn't matter what he learns, or not as the case sometimes may be. This guy is a genuine sweetheart.
Forget Team England. I'm Team Essex!
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